29 December 2007

If A, Then B

I knew I was reluctant for a reason. I suspected that there was a catch, and while it lasted for a while, I'm not surprised her mind finally changed.
While I agree that my reluctance surely contributed to her change of mind, I think that fundamentally she is full of shit.
The positive spin on this is that I get off the hook.
Another of woman I used to see is getting married to the person she started seeing after me. In this particular case I have only myself to blame for the end of the relationship. While she was difficult to understand, and even confrontational, the responsibility for termination is mine. In retrospect, I took the easier course, and spoiled a good opportunity for a challenging and fun relationship, a decision I regret.
I've always been afraid of making a comittment to a woman, and it's always been a stumbling block in relationships I've been in.
One woman has always had the integrity of personality to always forgive my repeated stupidity. Stupidity so repeated that it's taken me until now to realize that she's everything I want in a partner. Stupidity so repeated that she'll probably never believe it if I tell her that.
In conclusion, I'm stupid enough to pick the girls that are smart enough to see my stupidity, and too stupid to pick the ones that are forgiving of my stupidity.

22 December 2007


Fuck this, it's done, its a wrap, a finished product. I will not cannot, couldnot fit into this thing, this place, area, world. I have no spot. I do not get it. Why am I so perpendicular to everyone else? I have no place. Nervouos, violent dissatisfaction and abrasion.
Get rid of Me! I cannot serve you!
Ballast must be shed!
And I abhor to make other people strain, struggle, tolerate, or suffer.
Cast me aside, for I am inferior.

21 December 2007

So Done

What a wonderful start to a day, even though I was sick. What a shitty end. Poor me, I want to hate and hurt and never speak to any of you again. Jezus.

18 December 2007

Revelations 12:18

I used to think that it was hyperbole to say that Iraqi's and US soldiers were dying for oil. Knowing what I know now, I don't think so anymore.

There are few things grosser than a really old woman smoking a cigarette.
Except maybe a car fueled by Iraqi blood.

17 December 2007

New Projectish Thing.

Inspired by Regis's advice, and his friend Ty's success, I've started a new blog.
This one only concerns my video/movie exploits, in an effort to provide a foundation of reliability for pitching the idea to publishers. Check it out, so far it's just some of my previous better reviews, but there's new stuff to be coming very soon, I was working on a review tonight.
I'm tired, and sleep comes next.

16 December 2007

Gee, Sorry

Well, I had a good time for the last week. A fraggin' great time. But, excuse my etiquette friends, I'm relieved it's over. My personality is such that visitors, no matter how self-sufficient put a strain on my ebergy level. This was one of the best I've had, but it was still stressy.
Schools over, I have nothing to do but extreme draw/writification for the next three weeks.
I'm an empty sock waiting for the foot to give me purpose.
Or maybe a can, waiting for the shit, and the gasoline.

08 December 2007

It's Been Decided

I finished up watching The Corporation with Laura tonight. The movie is 2 and a half hours long, and she said, "that's it?" I concurr, it's so good, it's first heartbreaking, and then uplifting, and inspiring and it agitates, but it doesn't provide answers. Thankfully, and this is still hard for me to penetrate, it doesn't give answers.
Corporations are amoral profit-grabbing, murderous, lying, etc., but what does this mean in our day to day lives, and, if we feel like people are more important than profits (for a remote unassailable elite) how do we fight, or at the very least, how do we refuse to take part in the opression and suffering of all people?
I have ideas of what I can do, it means my "inconvinience", but I will not participate in this systematic degradation of human life as far as I can help it.
I've got to do something, everyday that makes the even just a little bit of difference.
And for the rest of my life, I will work towards social justice with the resources at my disposal.

Heres a picture of Joan Weldon with some dude. Joan appeared in THEM! among others. See I told you, I'm all twisted up over these old movies and ladies lateley.

I'm well aware that this objectification of women, and media propaganda can be considered "opression of people".

07 December 2007


I know I need to watch some old monster movies because I keep getting excited about these old posters, and it conjures visions of black and white monsters eating people. Anybody have a copy of Reptilicus? That was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, event though it was in color I think? I need to get that shit. I found out Ann Smyrner was the starlet.

06 December 2007


Watched most of "The Corporation" this eveining after work with wonderful Laura. Probably the most important movie of our time, and it's almost 4 years old. It means the beginning of understanding the life or death of all of us, the fundamental understanding of what empathy and compassion means on this planet. How we can survive, and help all other people to survive.
We with the privelige must act now.

05 December 2007

Susan Cabot

Susan Cabot was from what I gather, the influence for the Rose McGowan charachter in Planet Terror. I think the originals are better.

Eliminated 2

02 December 2007

I Find This Reluctant Self Confidence Somewhat Amusing


Yes, it's as officialy over as it gets. Minor theatrics excluded, there's little left of the quarter. Good, and , I'll miss Mohammad, bad. This fellow is the best teacher I've ever had, in my life.
I have 9 more days with him, that means 4 more classes, I weep.
Nevertheless, I must enjoy my other victories.
The Geography test which I tanked first time around came throughish this time. Fine, of 2 parts I got an 80% and a 96% respectively. Fine, fine. May I raise the issue of questions composed by barekey literate monkeys? I contested 5 of 75ish total answers and await the results.
Went to bar after, got drinky with beautiful Laura, came home and watched Men Behind Sun. OH DEAR GOD. Revoltingly good. Disgustingly bad. Wow, yeah...

Fuck it I said, for some damn reason I grabbed CD's off the shelf upstairs, I was looking for classical, now more than ever, and I found it borrowed, ripped and now listen. Gooder than I could have hoped. Good.


I remember this movie sucking pretty bad, but I didn't like black and white monster movies back then. I'd probably love it now. Cool poster though.

Julie Adams from the first Creature from the Black Lagoon film.


I can picture myself in a slovenly suit, sitting behind a desk and saying, "You make me sick John McCain." with a really gravely cold voice.

01 December 2007


Shopping Around

A whole weekend of Night Saute. Whew, tonight was a little rough. As soon as I got home I took a shower and a drink.
Figured I'd better try and pitch my "Garbage In" column to a newspaper or a film magazine or something. I think I'm decent at it, and I have a philosophy. I think that's important. The question remains however, should I keep the title, "Lost Video Archive" sounds good too, a little more, academic perhaps? I'll use the public library to accomplish this.
After work last night I watched part of Silent Night Deadly Night 2. No dice, I sure remember it being good, but I was drunk I guess. Christmas Evil, maybe Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?
Planet of the Apes was one of the first 4 movies that got me into bad movies in the first place, at about the age of 10 or so (?) I was in 5th Grade and my dad rented it for me. It's one of the greatest movies of all Seth time.


I found this awesome poster the other day, this belongs in a museum.Can't wait to watch it with the crowd on Dec. 10